Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Psycho Knitting

So, there is a blogger -- The Samurai Knitter -- who is very smart about a lot of different stuff. Including knowing a significant amount about fashion and knitting and styling. And she does interesting and sometimes scathing reviews of Vogue Knitting magazine.

I'm not as smart as she is, but I got my latest copy of Knitter's magazine this afternoon and I just have to post some of the patterns from it...though it is somewhat like shooting fish in a barrel.

Let's check out some ads, shall we? I told Mr. Pointy Sticks that I had found my next project and then showed him the following ad. His comment: "Oooh, classy."

It's a Twisted Sister design...it's twisted, all right.

Another ad:

Okay, I'll say I don't really get knit skirts. I would say there are probably three people in the world who would look good in a knitted skirt. Not this knitted skirt, though. This is ghastly. So ghastly, the model's legs have gotten up and left. And, using Prism yarns, you'd pay a lot to look this bad.

And here's another one! This is actually a pattern in the magazine.

If a professional photographer, professional model and some sort of stylist can't make this skirt look any better than it does here, what hope do normal mortals have? "Sarong, farewell, auf weidersehn, good grief!!"

The first section of the magazine has entrelac designs. Like this lovely coat.

I don't know why the model seems to be trying to hide this with her arms. Way to show off a design. Perhaps the colors make her feel as ill as they make me feel. But it gets worse. How about this?

Again with the concealing arms...but man, this design has it all. Godawful color combination, unflattering boxy fit, odd pokey edges. But I keep coming back to the ugly colors. Who thought these looked good together?!

The third entrelac design is a stole that can double as a blanket. Which is good because it looks like a blanket, even in its stole manifestation.

Now I will admit that until just a couple of minutes ago, when I was going to make a comment about how dark and dreary the colors were throughout the magazine and how un-Spring-like it was, that I looked at the cover and realized it was the Winter 2011 issue. So the blanketiness of this stole is a little more understandable...but then the dress....I don't get the dress. Wouldn't you be chilly? Even with your blanky wrapped around you?

This one seems to be Bohus for the visually impaired.

And the color combination? Again, gag. (The colors actually look a little better, because a little more subdued, on my monitor. In the magazine...they're pretty awful.)

And then there's this one.

I don't care for these wrap cum stole cum sweater sort of things. And this one is particularly nice with the butt vent. Look people, my butt is waving at you! And I can't imagine how bunchy and awkward the front must look.

There's more but I'm afraid that I might just overwhelm you with ugly. You know, I've been a subscriber since the first issue of Knitter's and have watched it get dumbed down over the decades. But until this issue, I've usually found more patterns in the magazine to like than to dislike. Not this issue, though! It may be time to let Knitter's go.

In good news! Rachel got her sweater and it fits and it looks great!

Not the best picture in the world, but you get the idea. I'm so thrilled. Maybe I can take another year and half and knit her another one!

1 comment:

J. Kwiatkowski said...

I'm glad you posted this. I always assumed there was just something about those patterns and color combinations that I didn't "get". But now I get it! They're really really ugly!
Your sweater looks nice, and she wears it well. I'm glad it doesn't have a butt vent.